two for one special---lists.

I don't know why I'm posting twice in one day.

oh well.

I'm going to sharptop cove tomorrow. thankyou Jesus.
I'm excited to see God move in my friends. or just to see God move. I've been seeing that more latley, but I am either to absorbed in myself, bitter with the world, or busy to watch. now i'm still absorbed in myself, bitter with the world AND busy. but i am making a very strong effort to watch Him. to listen. to follow.

i stoped following a long time ago.
i thought i could lead.

can't.

but ive been listing all the times I see God at school this week, and the list isn't very long but I actually really enjoy doing this. Like I got an A on a math test, I heard a weakerthans song on the radio, it rained on mondy (my favorite weather on my least favorite day)...stuff like that.
the basics that we don't think about...the every little details that have a fate just like us. and it's so fucking cool to look around and see my big God changing and working with those right in front of my very eyes.

if i could only see this awesome power in my own life.....

People are so Fickle.

Why do decisions have to be so hard to make?
and why do names have to be so hard to keep?
a name is everything. or, i should say title. titles are everything in this world.
like last names. i mean, if you are related to someone famous, you've got a bigger title. and people view you by that title. the fame title. and then your name, your small, beautiful name, is now under the title of the famous relative.

you lose your name, and gain a fucking title. so harsh. less personal. stupid.

and then you are judged on everything you do, and the title of those things.
JV sports? title goes up if you're on varisty. just a member of a club? title goes up if you're the president. AP classes? title goes up if you're in IB.
so now the activities that one has to do in order to be a member of society become stripped down to tasks to keep up a title. who gives a shit about the activity itself, or even more the person that is performing the activity? no, no it's allll about the title. how good you look.

everything is titled. everything is labled. everyone is judged.

and that is in my opinion the corruption of our world. that people have to look for a title, a label. People have to see that everything is judged. everyone is put in a label. everything is as good as it can get (if they have potential) or as bad as they can get (if they are a lost cause).

why can't we all just LIVE? L-I-V-E. as life was intended. without all this title bullshit, and with NAMES. real names that give you character and personality and life and your own legacy.

i want my name back.

fuck titles.

The Name

It's actually kinda cool how I came up with the name of this blog....not that I'm writing to anybody, but i'm going to type this anyway. This whole thing is so silly because i intend for no one to see it. But i mean, notes on facebook get a little annoying after a while and you can only put so much every so often, and it has to be censored.
and typing out on word everything i want to say just seems lame...so this was my alternative.

ANYWHO. back to the name.

So, I was reading this interview by my two favorite singer/songwriters in the whole world. These boys are beautiful in everything they do. from the music they make to the way they conduct their lives, they are just beautiful. passionate in all areas of life. both of them could be argues as alcoholics and one of them definitley is an addict. his last album to come out was all about his addictions to numerous drugs and how he was trying to cut it out (it was brilliant by the way). but yea, so the guys were talking about their hopes for one of the guys new records (bare with me...im not using names because i have this fantasy that one day both musicians will read this...crazy, i know.) and they asked the interviewer what his hopes for the record were. he wanted it to be good. and the addict looks as him in all honesty and fullness and says "that's a good and basic hope" (hence the URL). and i just thought that that was the most beautiful thing i have ever heard. and i love it.

i love the addict. and the alcoholic. and their fullness. they still live. and they love. and they struggle. and they pain. and they share.

and they are loved. and they break mold after mold without even realizing how incredible they are. they are the truest forms of humble in my opinion (talking about that basic genre of people now...not just those two guys, although i would consider them the epitome of this genre).

anyways, so there ya go.
conversations of passionate addict with good and basic hope.

i love it. love love love it.

oh ya! and the name Libby-not my real name. I didn't want to put my real name (although i absolutley ADORE my real name).
but i wanted something different that meant something. and i don't really like the name Libby actually. I do like the words liberal and liberation. and i like associating myself with people that are liberated and are liberal. don't get me wrong, throw me a conservative every now and then so i can keep a brain in my head, but i really can't deny any longer the fact that i believe more liberalistic beliefs...i just do. take me or leave me. and i love the feeling of liberating myself from this world. from this corrupted fucked up world. and i love other people that are like this. and i love other people that aren't.

but yea, Libby is in essence short for liberated and liberal.
not my favorite name but i like the thought behind it...

It dawned on me....

It dawned on me that I really don't journal like I want to be, and I have a lot of things I want to write about. This really isn't for the eyes of anyone inparticular, I'm really not making this for eyes at all, actually. It's just for me. I mean, if you're reading this by all means keep reading, I guess that's why I'm making this public.....but then again, I don't expect anyone to ever read this in the first place.

It just gives me an incentive to write. i really do enjoy writing. and painting. i see writing as painting without paint or a canvas or a mess. just...with description. every painter paints with words before they paint with paint.
not ever painter writes it down.

i like to write it down.


and I am an addict. Just not on what you think.
we are all addicts for something. and that is a good thing. never think anything about you is a bad thing. its not bad.
it might be at the wrong time, it might be inconvienient, it might be useless, or just annoying. But i think that placing all those descriptions under one little word like "bad" is stupid. do we seriously have to label our vocabulary under basic four-year old adjectives? no.

nothings bad.

everythings misunderstood. but not bad, i don't believe anything is bad. except for sin. & as cliche as that may sound...well i really don't give a shit.

...i don't know where i was going with that.
but ill keep you (whoever you may be....if there is anyone which i highly doubt) posted.