after all, it's you , my PRIDE, and me.

I can't stop thinking about that boy i saw on easter sunday.

i can't stop thinking about my future.
i cant stop thinking about what i want.
i can't stop thinking.

and yet when i turn it on, everything floods away and new thoughts, emotions, and feelings start to form. brand new. i welcome them, and we sit around and spit out ideas of what we want the world to be like and how we feel.
they comfort me and excite me and calm me and trouble me.
and i love them so much.
it's a masterpiece.

and i've decided at this very moment that i will not stop.
and i will never be jealous of her again.
no one can tell me that i can't do this.
especially myself.
this might not make since to you, but you aren't her. she's mad at you right now. and that's bugging me more than i thought it would. i don't know why. it angers me, upsets me, and the sinful side of me gets excited, almost delighted.
i'm such a screwed up person.
but i've decided right this very moment that she is not better than me.
we are different. more different than i thought we were.
WAY more different than i thought we were.
but this just proves how similar we are. are we similar?
i dont' know. i don't know what i think about all this.


my soul feels on fire right now. ripping open to let in this new art. it makes every part of my body filled with light. i can feel it from the tips of my ears to the bottom of my feet.
i can feel the most wonderful passion pooring into my body.

i need another one to incubate the sound.


oh gosh. i can't stop thinking about that man i saw at easter service.
not like, "oh my gosh he's so hot" (he was tho...) but i'm thinking about the struggles he's going through, the prayers he is praying..the life he is sharing with his Lord.

i want a man like that.
i want college.
this is long.
after all, its you, my pride, and me.