"It's pretty but you hate yourself, I can hear it clear as day."

I said I sing like this, it sounds worse than it is. I"m ok, ok. So just stay, just stay.

I had an aweful day yesterday, due to the fact that I had to spend two hours at the dentist with my mouth wide open, get 4 shots and the crap drilled out of my teeth. it hurt like nobody's business and i came home and passed out for two hours and then had to force myself to do three hours of homework and miss younglife. I couldn't chew anything.
so, yay...not really.

new CD comes out today.
Oh the dogs are after me
Bringing judgment on their breath and execution on their teeth
Oh my God, they're after me
So get the hell out of here, after all
I've got to move to be free

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's what my afternoon will entitle. listening to that.
yes? yes.
on other fun and exciting stuff. i talked to a really awesome "mentor" (you could call her that but i really hate that word...so friend is better) about predestination. and she told me her views.
she said A) she doesn't really concern herself in that bit of theology just because it is an argument that tears up the Body. B) if she did concern herself with it, she doesn't belief in it. Because why would God damn people to hell? doesn't make sense (i totally agree).
I read her the verse in romans about predestination, and she wondered why not everyboyd could be included in that verse. what if Jesus predestines everybody, and it's our own fucked up faults for failing to Love Him?. She thinks that everyone is predestined (why would God create people NOT to be predestined?!) and it is the fall of man/ the power of sin that keeps people away from His love...NOT God Himself.
and i completley agree with her.
and she also said something really cool. what if some people have a moment right before they die where God gives them another moment to reckon with him? I think about that all the time, and I mean, of course no one will ever know about ANY of this stuff for sure, but why not?

plus, if we are NEVER going to know the right answer about any of this stuff, we might as well just pick what we believe, instead of having our churches (our conservative, reformed churches) shove something down our throat and tell us what to believe.
there's more than one way to look at this, more than one way to view it. and any of these ways aren't wrong, because none of them are officially right. we pick what we believe and pursue whole-heartedly the Father behind it.
that's all ive got.