"I can't find the word i'm looking for"

sick.
that's all you need to know.


les miserable.

good play. beautiful story and character.
don't know where that came from. i'm miserable.
but yet, enjoying it. i'm too weak for school. m'sorry moma, whaddiya 'xpect?

i woke up this morning sobbing. prolly cause i was not feeling good, but also because i just can not do school anymore. the days are longer. nothing to look foward to. summer. oh sweet summer. you fool me. i thought we were buds. guess not you asshole.

ya, that's right. i just said it. and i'll say it again. ITS FUCKING APRIL.
i need to be done with school. i honestly can't do it anymore.
m'sorry God, whaddiya 'xpect? i mean, you of all people would know i can't handle this.
there comes a time when enough is enough.
i've had enough.

and yet, there is that tiny tiny microscopic sanity in me that screams at the larger, stronger being inside of me to shutup.
wow God, when did you get so small?
when did satan get that big?
i don't know when. he probably ate a lot of doughnuts and got obese. fatty mcfatso.
God, on the other hand, got anerexic.
oh the irony. not really irony.
my stupid brain.
i don't know what i'm saying.
i'm sick, ok?!