"Man, I've been wasting so much time"

Walking the same street every night
Don't you think it's about time?


i'm reading the best book ever. and it's literally changing everything i have ever thought about everything.
i don't care if it makes me sound like an idiot, at least i have my own opinions now. i feel like before, i just ate up what people fed me, but now i'm hunting my own food. and i like it. it gives me a sense of direction and individuality. and i like it.

because i can't get enough of this:

"Oh, good grief. Distant croup from the Pharaoh finds himself at a disadvantage. I'm a colleague of a distant grudge. I cannot imagine what this all means and even more than that I cannot find my own firm grip to grapple onto. Sift. That's the word I meant to mean and all I ever wanted was to figure all of this to pieces. No, No, No, you're wrong you fool. Please, be normal. Please...single unaccompanied grudge, flee and cling to the ugly single-most feeling you can find. None of this is kosher, none of this is right. I will write a song to find the meaning of meaning and I will soon return to Oglethorpe in a masterful manner. Only I, only I will respond to the glory that is what has come to be. Figuratively of course. Only in that...only in the simple mindset of a simple man will I, Sebastian, crumble 'neath the ridiculous love that besets me now."

again, you amaze me with your infinite beatuy and wisdom.



i was thinking about this earlier today: i literally have no life at school. no friends. i mean i have friends at younglife. but not at school. different. poo.
i have this vivd on-going daydream of my two best friends going to my school, and i literally think about that nonstop my entire day. if they were there, what would i be talking about? how incredibly cool would we be? they would have my back and we would do everything together.

i walk around my hallways thinking that if they were with me we probably would be linking arms and talking and laughing and loving and being.

how free would we be.

unfortunatley that is not the case. and i love and hate that.
i've wasted so much time to not stop now.
this piece of gum is stale and flavorless. my life isn't tho. and i love that. i love that.

something for the road was going to be put, but it was taken away and this was put instead.... so here ya go:
I swung my fiery sword;
I vent my spleen at the Lord.
He is abstract and bored -
too much milk and honey.

man, i liked the other one better. oh well.

marinated meat smells good. so do nails in wood.
so does ink on paper, paint on canvas, eyes on bible, sounds in eardrums, shoes off feat, heat on high, dirt under fingernails....